3.34 more

My week began with witnessing the total eclipse for 3 minutes and 34 seconds. It was a spectacular and mesmerizing moment that left me wanting more. The colors of the sky and the ability to gaze at the brilliant white glow for 214 seconds were incredible. It was a moment where time stood still and fly by all at once.

This same week concludes with the 25th anniversary of my mom's passing. Naturally, I cannot help but connect the feelings of grief with the three minutes I experienced earlier this week. How I wish for three more minutes with loved ones who are no longer here. 

Reflecting back, I recall the fleeting moments of April 12, 1998, when I held my mom's hand for the last time. I have longed for many more minutes with her since. The same is true of my late spouse. 

It is natural to wish for more moments with those we love — time to say the things we didn't say, to share another embrace, a smile, or a good laugh. It can also be easy dwell on the "what ifs" or "should ofs."  There is space for these thoughts in the "no wrong way to grief" conversation, but these thoughts might also take us down a rough path. Even today, I felt myself drifting that way. The sorrow snowball can really get out of hand. 

With so much in my mind this week, I decided to try something intentional to start the day. I share this as a potential tool for your own heartache and grief. 

Linking the total eclipse time with my mom's heavenly anniversary date, I set a timer for 3.34 seconds and handwrote a note to her. I just started writing with no plan, I asked questions, shared words of thanksgiving and words from my heart. Taking this time allowed me to sit in my grief and feel it a fresh and honest way. Yes, it was still emotional, but good.

If you are missing someone today or might soon cross a marker (birthday, anniversary, etc), consider setting aside time to write them a note. It can offer healing or an emotional release in a way you don't expect. You can set a timer or not; it helps, but no need to be constricted if you are in a writing flow. Take all the time you need to express your heart. 

Wherever you are in your grief journey, remember you are greatly loved and never alone. 

p.s. 
 Here are a few things to expect with this process.

 1. Tears on the paper
 Sharing your heart can really bring out tears. No worries!

 2. You may need more time. 
 My timer went off too quick, so I spent several more minutes finishing my thoughts. A timer just helps set the stage and also gives you permission to stop.

 3. Discovering Peace
 This could stir up some emotions but also can bring peace to your soul.

4 . The desire to write another letter.
Of course, you can write another one!

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