Two Times Busy

I am writing this 2-day-before post really early one one day before because every single moment of the second day before filled up. What is most interesting about this day is that nearly everything that I did happened because Josh isn’t in my daily life. That sounds incredibly weird to say.

I started the morning with kayaking, something I did not do until after Josh died. Then I sent to a MSU Bears ballgame to watch my boyfriend’s son play in the band - clearly I didn’t have a boyfriend before. (And yes dating again post loss is also a wild thing to navigate).

Then I played a music gig until midnight with some friends who I have met since doing Open Mic nights on a regular basis over the past four years. None of these people I knew before 2021. I wouldn’t have imagined even doing this before. It was quite the night of music and having people parachuting in behind our band. Quite epic.

Maybe this post echos of the things I have learned post from Day 5, but these are all unique elements I have taken on as new pieces of my life and story.

Yes Josh was a big supporter of me in my love for music and I am sure he attended some Bears football games when I played in college but I am not really sure. I do remember even when he was pretty sick with brain cancer, he came to my final performance of a girls singing group that I was leading - it was a special memory.  In general, he was a huge supporter of my various endeavors – whatever they might be.

Today, many other people pick up pieces he played as my cheerleader and sidekick. It’s a unique and beautiful collective of people who are part of my story today. Honestly, I feel like I need every one of them, and so many of them don’t even know how much I do. This is part of the abstract, yet important, community that God is often talking about that we need. I can help but think It looks a little bit like an impressionistic dot painting (pointillism I believe it is called). Encouragement dots.

As I selfishly soak up this encouragement it is also a challenge to keep being that support to others walking in grief (of various kinds). Let’s cheer each other on more often!  Trust me, it makes a difference. 

---