Falling Slowly Through Grief

Last week, the music world, especially the one of singer/songwriters (and in Ireland), experienced a shock with the announcement that Glen Hansard died in a motorcycle accident at the age of 56.

The announcement rocked me – not in the same way that the news of a close friend or family member might, but still it did.

Upon learning the news, I immediately wanted to tell the one person who I knew would find it the most shocking and tragic as well –– my late husband, Josh. Yet, in the tricky ways of death, he isn’t here to share this news with me. Yes, I can speak it to the heavens, but will hear no response. I am left with only imagining what his response might be.

During the days and week following the announcement, I found myself joining in a collective melancholy with people a world away as they gathered to sing and cry in the streets of Dublin. I cried watching his wife step into such a space of deep sorrow at the service.

While I never met this artist, his music and passion became personal. It’s easy to backtrack down memory lane and recall when Josh and I first discovered and watched the indie film, Once. The film was rough and raw, filled with original music and a captivating story of love, heartbreak, endurance, and self-sacrifice. The now 20+ year-old film darling earned an unexpected Academy Award for Best Original Song. This movie soundtrack was played on rotation on many of our early adventures – especially during our Texas era. We even saw the musical adaptation of the film on Broadway, and I still have the souvenir scarf.

Indeed, this music was an anchor in our shared music library. Today, it is another bookmark within my grief catalog.

All week, I felt the sorrow resting deep within me and am continuing to process it. The empathy within me has me wishing I could hug his wife, family members, and dear friends who are processing the hardest of hard realities. They are entering a new and unwanted grief journey. Collectively, I want to fly to Ireland to just be in that space with others grieving.

From where I am, far removed from this community, I’ll stream Glen Hansard’s songs and reflect on the beauty and sorrow of the lyrics that he so passionately crafted and shared with this world. The angst seems strangely fitting of grief. 

At his memorial service, singer Eddie Vedder joined together with Hansard's former duet partner, Markéta Irglová, to cover his original song, "Song of Good Hope." This version of the song adds a whole new layer to the lyrics, creating an even greater juxtaposition of hope and sorrow. I have it on repeat in the car - almost in a way to usher in the tears and sorrow for my own soul.

It's hard to explain the entanglement of sorrow that the loss of a musician like this has stirred up. Not just for me but for so many others. Writing about it seems to once again be the best way to tackle this new grief marker.

To the Hansard family and friends - my deepest condolences for the loss of someone who left a major mark on the world and also on me. Thank you for honoring his life and sharing it with us all, even a world away.